Can someone explain this to me...

What's with neck beards? You know the ones... they start right at the jaw line and go down.  I don't get it... I mean, if you're going to go to the trouble of shaving your face, why stop there???  Plus, they look good on no one- NO ONE!  Really, it's just another thing to add to my list of stupid things that people do that I will never understand.

An open letter to my fish

Dear Freddie Mercury,

I'm sorry I took me like 18 years to clean your bowl.  I'm a dick.  I'm also sorry that Axl Rose died before I left for tour this summer and I still haven't bought you a new friend.  Please don't take that to mean that I think he's replaceable, because I know you were the best of friends and that no one will ever take his place in your little fish heart.  But it makes me sad to see you swimming around all by yourself, so one of these days I'll get off my lazy butt and see if I can't find you a suitable new BFF.  Maybe this time be a little more careful though and try not to give your new buddy the fish AIDS... frankly, you're lucky that it's only taken your mustache... 

All the best,

Joyce

The Aftermath... still the worlds most hated duo

So... of all of the hate and such that Misty and I have received for deliberately ruining little girls lives all summer, this is by far my fav:

"awee... was misty one of the stupid circus looking chevy girls. Skanky tat's and tramp stamps. So hawt..

which one wore the slutty red heels everyday??"

Obviously, I was the one with the heels.  Everyone knows how good slutty red heels look with neon green!  Also, wearing heels is something I love to do when I'm outside and on my feet all day.  

I'm so glad to know that beyond the fact that these girls can't comprehend how a contest actually works and that maybe Misty and I aren't just sent from the fires of hell to ruin their lives, that maybe we're just DOING THE JOBS WE'RE PAID TO DO, that they think we're giant skanks too.  I get it... I mean, we did spend our summers trying to seduce the boys, so we're a giant threat... oh, wait... I'm 25, that's all but appealing to me.  

If you need me anytime soon, check the nearest bar... I'll be there with my skanky tats and tramp stamps (yes, multiple), obvs in my red heels... just look for the girls in the corner smoking crack (or cock), that's us... according to my other fav fan.

Snow is colder in space

I found this picture on PerezHilton.com and I can't even begin to express how great it is!  You know, in that "what the fuck?!?" kind of way.  Also, I really like the new single "Human."  I haven't liked most of The Killers recent stuff, so it was a pleasant surprise.  But back to the photo... so good!

It's official

I have some sort of newly developed allergy.  I posted some time ago about my lip swelling up and being super gross.  Since then this has happened two other times.  The second time wasn't nearly as bad as the first, but I caught it pretty early on and downed a bunch of benedryl.  Crisis averted. The third time was today... it was a little different.  About halfway through my day my lip/mouth got super itchy then I could feel it start to swell.  But it was bottom lip this time.  Again, popped the Benedryl and all was right in the world... well, sorta.  I think it might be starting back up.  We'll see.  I have no idea what could have caused this, but I'm not stoked at all.  Something about my mouth swelling up about once a month isn't really very appealing to me.  Thought I'd share.

I won't be leaving my house anytime soon...

This lives by my house... it was on my front porch if we really want to get technical. Gross!  It's really not even that it's gross, but more that it scares the shit out of me.  It kept turning it's creepy head and watching what I was doing (mostly screaming and flailing)! Creeped out to the maxx!!!  Misty's been telling me about the praying mantis that lives on our porch for a few days, but I hadn't seen it.  Also, this isn't the same one... this one is more "pregnant" than the other one... which means this one bit the head off of the other one.  The thought of thousands of baby praying mantises (mantai) totally freaks me out too! I think it's because I don't really know if they're jumpers or what... which is probably most of the reason that it scares me so bad.  I'm not big on things jumping on me, especially when they're scary looking and are known for eating the heads off of things.  Not that I really think that it will eat my head, but you can't be too careful.  Also, did I mention it was the size of a small elephant???  Well, maybe a little smaller...

My new hair

Jessica this is for you... I feel awkward taking pictures of myself, but this one wasn't 100% horrible.  I really like my new cut, I think it's cute/fun.  It may have a lot to do with the fact that I haven't had a haircut in like 3 months, but whatever.