Dear fridge full of Sparks,

I love you.  That being said, I hate you.

Joyce

Dear My Blog,

I'm sorry that I've been neglecting you... we'll talk soon.  Promise.

Kisses,

Joyce

Because you guys are smarter than MySpace

I had to post this bulletin and I'm hoping that maybe someone here can tell me why I even had to do this in the first place.  Wait... I just answered my own question, it's because I had to be "friends" with little girlies who only know what their parents preach to them while I was out with the Jonas Brothers.  Although, I've noticed that there are other people that this pertains to that I actually considered to be a little smarter.  Oops.  Lets all laugh at them together:

***edit: I actually met a bunch of really rad kids while I was out too... some of whom I still keep in touch with.  And "friends" was meant in the MySpace sense of the word, not like I hated talking to kids everyday... cause I didn't, like I said, many, many rad kids.  Sorry, I felt a little too douchy for a second.***

Putting it out there

Dear Lost,

You have sucked out my soul.  In its place you've left anger and frustration.  All I really want to know is what the goddamn smoke monster is!  The next time someone asks about it and the response is "I don't know" I'm probably going to burst into a horrible rage blackout and throw my TV out of the front window.  The same applies if anything every happens to my dear Desmond Hume(i.e. the greatest character in the history of EVER)... but in the second scenario I'll also stop watching forever and ever and kill anyone who has ever written for the show... just sayin.  That being said I love you.

My heart belongs to you,

Joyce

P.S. Obviously there are like ten million other questions I would like answered eventually, but they're less pressing.

An open letter to my fish

Dear Freddie Mercury,

I'm sorry I took me like 18 years to clean your bowl.  I'm a dick.  I'm also sorry that Axl Rose died before I left for tour this summer and I still haven't bought you a new friend.  Please don't take that to mean that I think he's replaceable, because I know you were the best of friends and that no one will ever take his place in your little fish heart.  But it makes me sad to see you swimming around all by yourself, so one of these days I'll get off my lazy butt and see if I can't find you a suitable new BFF.  Maybe this time be a little more careful though and try not to give your new buddy the fish AIDS... frankly, you're lucky that it's only taken your mustache... 

All the best,

Joyce